6 Healthy Relationship Beliefs That Most People Assume Are Toxic (2 of 4)

2. Hurt feelings happen

In many relationships, couples focus on saying things that make their partner feel happy at the expense of being honest. For instance, when she asks you what you think about her new hairstyle, you tell her it looks great even when you don’t like the change at all. Alternatively, he may express an opinion that you consider nonsensical, but you hesitate to challenge him because you want to avoid hurting his feelings. The feel-good moments—the rainbows and butterflies—should never feel forced. They happen when the relationship is built on authenticity, trust, and shared values. And key to this process is speaking your mind even when it temporarily hurts your partner’s feelings. 

3. It’s important to live separate lives

When we fall in love, we become absolutely infatuated with the person. We become irrational in our beliefs and desires. We want to spend every waking hour with them. We ghost our closest friends. Or declare our love for baseball as much as our partner does, even when we have no clue about the rules. The most worrisome thing is that we cease to become the person that our partner fell in love with in the first place. In healthy relationships, the couple establishes boundaries. They recognize the importance of spending quality time apart, whether it’s meeting up with their buddies for Friday happy hour, developing separate hobbies, or going on the occasional solo trip. If you don’t give yourselves space to breathe, the flame that drew you together will eventually be extinguished.