8 Red Flags Early In Your Relationship 

When you enter into a new romantic relationship, it can be difficult to spot all the issues that could come between you and a long-term future. You go through a honeymoon phase where you are willing to overlook their flaws or convince yourself that you can handle them. But as time goes on, you’ll discover that those little white lies they tell will snowball or even become something more significant. Ultimately, if you see there are a lot of problems from the start, don’t hesitate to end the relationship because it is doubtful things will get better. With that in mind, here are some early indicators that the relationship is doomed. 

1. Your Are Rarely On The Same Page

A huge red flag that your relationship will always contain drama is that you are on two completely different communication wavelengths. For instance, you might be the type that prefers transparency and to share as much as possible while they tend to be more secretive. Or you try to follow the rule of not going to bed angry at each other while they allow arguments to fester in perpetuity. These issues will ultimately lead to resentment and frustration, and especially a sense that they don’t fully love or appreciate you. 

2. One Of You Has Already Been Unfaithful

If you have established that the two of you are in a committed relationship and yet that doesn’t stop one of you from cheating, it is unlikely that anything is ever going to change unless the cheater changes their position on commitment and respect. Unfortunately, they probably won’t. Even if you are willing to forgive each other and try to continue the relationship, isn’t only a matter of time before it happens again. 

3. They Can’t Be Straightforward With You

Whether they are telling a lie or deliberately withholding information, these are signs that there are fissures in the relationship that cannot be healed. You might be inclined to tiptoe around the issue out of fear that it could blow up into a more serious conflict, but it will only lead to jealousy and heartbreak in the long run. It is important to nip it in the bid from the start. Let them know in a non-confrontational way that their little lies hurt you. This is the only way to know whether this problem can be fixed.

4. They Show Flashes Of A Toxic Personality From the Beginning

When you first date somebody, they tend to be on their best behavior because they want you to see that they are a normal, laid-back person. So if during this phase they are still showing signs of inappropriate behavior, you should walk away because it will only get worse and perhaps even abusive. Some examples could be ignoring your boundaries on a first date, bossing you around, or even acting obnoxious towards the waitstaff at a restaurant. 

5. You Do Not Share The Same Financial Philosophy

One of the biggest problems facing couples is finances. So if you and your partner have different spending and saving habits, be aware that once you’re an established couple these differences will emerge front and center as you’d now be dealing with paying rent, utilities, and making major spending decisions. Setting rules and sticking to them takes hard work and a willingness to cooperate. If you can’t, prepare for one nonstop argument about money. 

6. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

When you don’t establish boundaries at the start of the relationship, it is guaranteed to end in failure. Although you want to give your partner unconditional love, you must also recognize your own needs. This is why it is essential that you discuss things like how much you’ll spend together versus time apart, and your relationship goals. Addressing these things right away will help you avoid potential misunderstandings and conflict in the long term. 

7. Substance Abuse Issues Arise

If you find that your partner is more than just a casual drinker, find out the reasons why. Are they doing it to relieve stress, for instance? Is it something they absolutely need to get through the day? Someone with a problem with alcohol deserves compassion, but at the same time they have to be willing to admit they have an addiction and are willing to get help. Showing support and addressing the issue together by attending couples counseling would be a good idea. But unfortunately for many couples it becomes an obstacle that cannot be overcome. 

8. You Have Different Social Expectations

You and your partner don’t have to have identical personalities in order for the relationship to succeed, but if you have fundamentally different approaches to socializing (i.e., they want to go out every night while you are more of a homebody) it might be a struggle to make it work. If you speak openly about this and are willing to find compromise, you could create a happy medium. Otherwise you might rarely see each other, which defeats the purpose of being in a relationship.