19 Excellent Tips to Spice up Your Relationship After the 40s

Efforts need to be put into every single relationship to let the spark burning. But, when the clock ticks towards your 40s, the burden of responsibilities and family don’t let you have any time for romance and spice things up from time to time. To help you overcome this, we bring you ways that will help you keep that spark alive between you and your partner in your 40s, and beyond. Without further ado, let’s check out the article below.


Have a planned daily routine

Small acts of love are what make a relationship last long. Be it as small as bringing bed tea to your partner or giving them a morning kiss, all of it proves to help keep the bond alive. Most importantly, all these activities or relationship pleasures should be first discussed and then planned. Both the partners should agree to it and reschedule their daily routine from time to time to see if the needs of both are met. There shouldn’t be any desires that are left out or unspoken.



Share an unspoken fantasy

All of us have stored a secret fantasy somewhere in our hearts which we fear to disclose to anyone. Or maybe we haven’t grown close enough to anyone to get comfortable to tell them our fantasies. But, when a relationship grows old, trust gets strengthened. Believe it or not, this is the best time to share your secret desires and get to know theirs. At this stage of the relationship, there is no fear of judgment too because you both have seen each other’s best and worst times. And you can try them out too together if both are comfortable.



Play team sports together

Bringing in new activities to instill excitement is always a good idea. You both can engage yourselves in some team sport. A bit of friendly competition won’t do any harm and you will create fun memories as well to tell later. It will be a different experience that you can talk about and laugh later.



Join a new class together

Sometimes, you might feel that you have run out of topics to talk about. Don’t worry, you can always learn a new talent with your partner. Learning some new stuff brings new energy and excitement, and learning it with your spouse will bring that positive energy and romance to the relationship. You will have new interests and stuff to chat about.



Create a bucket list

Creating a bucket list sounds like a childlike activity but doing that together as a couple might add new adventurous stuff to the list that you never thought of. It has the power to bring life to a slow-going relationship, too. Asking questions like, “What would I want to experience with my partner if I just had 2 months?” might help. And checking all the boxes gives its adrenaline rush along with the positive impact of the bucket list.



Play 20 Questions

As time passes by and the relationship grows old, you might feel like you know your partner in and out. But, there is never harm in knowing them more and better. So, ask them questions about them, their likes and dislikes, desires, etc. and keep it open-ended. This might bring the feel of a newly sprouted relationship and make you both feel closer. Also, a bit more insight into their present desires might help in the other tips as well because they change with time.



Go on a weekly date night

Amidst all the chaos in our daily lives, work, kids, family, etc., it often happens that we don’t go out with our partners to spend some quality time together for months. To prevent this, it’s really important to plan days every week to go out on a date. Even if you can’t go out because of the busy schedules, then take out time at home to spend together and catch up. This will help in rejuvenating the romance.



Appreciation is the key

It is a common human tendency to like it when you get appreciated. As years pass by, you would want to feel desired by your partner to gain confidence in yourself as well as the relationship. Make it a point to tell each other what you like about them by the end of the day before going to bed. Be it anything ranging from how they looked that day to how they parent the kids. Just make sure, it’s heartfelt.




Starting from the very basic, cleaning up your life-both figuratively and literally can help a lot in bringing back the romance. A physical mess can create disturbance in the minds of both. Cleaning it up becomes necessary to spread positive vibes and stay happy. Talking figuratively, it’s necessary to pull yourself out of the relationships that drain you. By 40s, you know it better than the rest. So, pick the relationships that mean the most to you and give them your time and love.



Visit a therapist together

It is a misconception that therapists are only needed when an issue gets out of hand. They can be consulted with even at earlier stages to deal with minor issues, personally or as a couple. Seeing a relationship adviser together can help well in spicing things up and bringing back the old days’ romance. It’s a great way to deal with your issues and come out stronger every single time with new hope and strength.



Surprise them with your new acts of love

There’s no need to celebrate just one Valentine’s Day or your partner’s birthday to express your love for them. For a relationship to go strong a long way, there’s a need for you both to see each day as an opportunity to make each other feel special and give surprises. It need not be big acts of love but can be really small gestures of kindness. You can make them breakfast and tea in bed, give them fresh flowers or chocolates, etc.



Create a strategy for tackling a major goal

It might seem less helpful but trust me looking at the bigger picture together helps you understand what your partner desires. Deciding on a plan of action together for a personal or a couple goal makes them feel important to you. It brings satisfaction and peace to the relationship.



Make foreplay part of your routine

People often don’t consider how much time their partner wants the foreplay to last which is a major mistake. To make things spicier and interesting in a relationship, the foreplay needs to last for a long time before getting intimate. You can start with 20 minutes and then stretch it to a longer duration. But, never do the mistake of underestimating the effect of foreplay.



Put sex on the calendar

Being spontaneous about sex is great but as the relationship grows old, you need to take out time and put dates to ensure regular intimacy. It might not sound sexy to have dates for sex but can make a bond grow well when sex is a priority. This ensures that you don’t forget to take out time for your sexual connection.



Recreate your favorite ideas

The good old times where both of you couldn’t get enough of each other. You can try recreating those memories to bring back the old energy of the relationship. You can do the activities you both used to do earlier, the same sequence but maybe with a different location. It will take you and your spouse back in time to the days where you both were fondly in love with each other.



Intimacy outside the room

It has always been an unspoken rule to get frisky only inside the bedroom but bringing new and exciting features to your intimacy can add a lot of spice in the relationship no matter how old the marriage is. So, change places or just change rooms in your house for that matter of fact to get intimate.



Attempt on a new character for the day

Trying on a new persona simply means role play but that doesn’t have to happen necessarily in the bedroom. You might surprisingly pick your partner from a bar, ask them out for a coffee or a movie date in a new way unlike you. Roleplay brings excitement and strengthens a relationship more. It might also help both of you to express yourselves, your desires or fantasies in a better way than just simply stating them. The whole day will lighten up and so will your bond.



Try some non-sexual touching

Try practicing some moves or acts which are non-sexual because every act need not lead to intimacy. It can be as simple as holding hands and waist, kiss, massage, etc. All this leads to increased hotness in the relationship and you get to know what is sensual for your partner. And you know what to do next time!



Hit the gym together

It’s always important to take care of your health and what’s better than doing it with your lover. Working out will make you feel more confident as well as bring a new appreciation for your partner’s looks in your heart.

Here, we listed most of the possible ways to bring back the romance and spice things up in your relationship. Rest is up to you, how and what improvisations you want to add. We just hope, you and your spouse, both enjoy this and coming time together as this is what you have is precious. Save it and spice it up!