The Urban Dating Lingo Guide Everyone Should Know About
Dating has gone through a complete change, and so have the terms associated with it. Well, you have probably heard the urban dating terms like curving or kittenfishing. But you probably don’t know the meaning behind them. Well, that’s because the millennials have invented these words. But worry not, we have compiled the ultimate dating lingo guide to help you wade through the generation gap. Here are some millennial dating terms you need to know-
The Sex Interview
While the previous generation got to know each other in order to establish physical relations, the millennials have different priorities. They first have sex, and then, decide whether they even want to know about the other person. They prioritize performance in bed, rather than their personalities. Well, that’s quite unromantic.
Well, it’s quite a new term, and a quite popular one, especially on Reddit. The term ‘incel’ refers to people who feel that they are entitled to have sex, but can’t really manage to get laid. The full form of this term is ‘involuntary celibate’.
Yes, we know it rhymes with ‘coughing season’ and rightly so. It refers to the season or the period between early fall and spring wherein people are more likely to get into relationships to have a warm body to snuggle into during winters. Well, this is quite a sexist term, since it applies to women who deliberately get into a relationship to cuddle.
Well, as the term suggests, it literally means to bomb up someone with all the love you have. You do cute little gestures for them at the beginning of the relationship, like a little honeymoon phase. But then, it doesn’t really last long, nor does the relationship.
So, roaching is when your partner hasn’t exactly cheated on you, but is looking into other prospects and is quite ready to mingle with them, probably without telling you. And once you confront them, they try to do the blame-shifting technique by pretending that you weren’t polyamorous.
Now that brings us to another term – polyamorous. The term ‘poly’ means many, and you can guess it, being polyamorous means being sexually active with more than one partner. It isn’t exactly cheating because you need to let all your partners know that you are polyamorous, otherwise, it is definitely cheating.
Well, micro-cheating isn’t exactly cheating, but nonetheless, these gestures hurt your partner. The test of whether you have micro-cheated or not is whether you hid that small act from your partner or not. If you did, well, that’s micro-cheating because you knew that it would hurt them.
Being pansexual means that they are open to and are attracted to all the genders. You shouldn’t confuse it with being bisexual, since it only refers to two genders – male and female. Pansexual is when you are willing to go beyond male and female partners.
Well, you probably know the meaning of catfishing, wherein one pretends to be someone else in order to land a date with their crush. However, the new term kittenfishing is a mild form of catfishing, wherein you aren’t completely lying about yourself, but you aren’t being completely honest either. You may put up old pictures of yourself, or photoshop them or use some filter, and that’s when you are kittenfishing.
Now, curving is not a straight rejection, but kind of like rejection for the time being, while still being open to date in the future. It is kind of like keeping an option for the future, but not trying it out right now. Well, one should never be an option for someone.
A lot like curving is stashing. In this age of social media, you would obviously post about your new relationship. But in some cases, people are hesitant to do so, kind of like not arranging a meeting with their parents. It shows that maybe they are insecure about their relationship or maybe ashamed of you, so they stash you away.
Imagine you are on a date. It went great and now you are chatting with each other non-stop. But suddenly, one day, you don’t get a text back. A few more days pass by, and suddenly it’s a whole week. Well, it’s a bummer, but you’ve been ghosted by this person, as he or she suddenly vanished from your life without giving you any closure.
Now, when you have been ghosted, that person will not return any of your texts, but will continue to follow you on social media, like your posts and see your snapchat stories. They haven’t completely gone, but make their social media presence known to you. This is called orbiting, and it is the next step to ghosting in some cases.
Well, this is a form of a toxic relationship, one where a person won’t put any effort, but expect you to make efforts every time they ask you. They may not reply to your texts, and may drop a text out of the blue, they may not plan any dates with you, but require you to always answer their calls. It’s kind of like a one-way street, like a fire door, and you need to escape it ASAP.
It is a kind of relationship wherein you are together in bed, but not really walking hand in hand. It’s not a committed relationship, nor is it a friends-with-benefits relationship. You are not really defining your relationship with another, but you just know that you’re in a situation.
Imagine that you have broken up or have been ghosted, and are now living your life happily. Now suddenly, out of the blue, you receive a text from them as if nothing happened. It’s like they vanished, but are now back, trying to become a part of your life. Well, it’s quite a complex situation and there is absolutely no need for you to entertain them.
Well, this is kinda like curving, but the difference is that the person you’re interested in is already in a relationship, and yet, they keep the seat warm for you. They send you lovely or flirty texts, but you aren’t sure if they are interested in you or not. It’s always better to stay away from another sister’s mister.
Just like in cushioning you don’t know whether the other person is interested in you or not, breadcrumbing is also the same case, except the difference is that they have just ghosted you, but now they’re back. You can’t really know whether they want to date you because they keep ghosting you, and get in touch with you every once in a while. Well, just go away from a breadcrumber.
A much less cruel act than breadcrumbing is benching. In benching, the ‘victim’ knows that you are pursuing other options as well, but they are just keeping a bench empty for you, kind of treating you like an option in case they don’t hit their target.
Now, this is just short of falling into a category of an offense. Stealthing is when your partner takes off the condom during sex without even telling you. This can lead to life-changing consequences and emotionally traumatizing experience.