20 Lessons Learned From Failed Relationships

The dating scene can be a rough place, but the hardest part of all are the breakups. While some relationships are built to last, some people have gone through strings of failed relationships. This pain is harsh on them, but after getting through it, there are many opportunities to learn from these experiences and try again.

Below is a list of some of the most important lessons taken from these experiences. For this list, we turned to Reddit to get a series of responses on valuable lessons for relationships.

“If you’re not happy, you’re permitted to leave.”

One sign of a poor relationship is when one is making the other miserable for prolonged periods of time. Sure we can rationalize it as a sort of “rough patch” that every relationship goes through. But there is quite the difference between being angry or bothered for a few days versus being sad around them for months.

Not to mention you want to actively avoid them.

In the case of a Reddit user, they were purposely avoiding their partner. They wrote:

“This was the exact reason I left my ex. I was no longer happy when we were hanging out…it got so bad that I would want to stay longer at work or take the long way home just to get more alone time.”

Remember, rough patches are temporary. If you know your relationship is emotionally tormenting you, then it’s worth considering moving on.

“Do make a line between the person and the relationship.”

We are all familiar with rebounds right? While rebounds sometimes are completely different people, in some cases the rebound is the person you were just dating. Of course rebounds like this never tend to work out at all, but there is a reason why people fall for these time and time again.

One Reddit user wrote the following:

“My ex and I ended things a little over a month ago for a number of good reasons, and I know it was certainly for the best, but that does not take away the feelings of missing being in the relationship. Having that level of companionship and intimacy with another human being is simply amazing, and it is hard not to miss that.”

At the end of the day, some people can’t live without being in a relationship. Rebounds happen all the time and if you are the person who jumps back to the same person, stop yourself and make that line. Remind yourself there are others out there.

“Listen to your head over your heart.”

Emotions are a powerful force and can often be the sole reason people push through and try to make things work. We see this all the time in poor relationships where things are still clinging together despite the relationship being detrimental to both people.

So why do people cling to these? Emotions is a big thing, but there is also that far of dealing with breaking up. It’s a powerful force and in some cases can result in people’s death.

But as one Reddit user put it:

“Sometimes it’s better to just suffer the heartbreak instead of hurting each other by dragging it on.”

Well said. Well said.

“Do it offline if possible.”

With social media taking over our lives, it makes sense that when you want to break up with someone you do it over Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or even through simple texting. This sort of method is better than the alternative of having to face the person and talking things out.

But one word of advice is to always make a point of meeting the person face to face and breaking up this way. Sure it’s dreaded and takes courage, but there are a few reasons to do that.

First reason is best put by a Reddit user’s comment:

“Don’t be a chicken and do it by text… Nothing says ‘We’re over and I never want to even hear your voice again’ like doing it via texting.”

Second reason is that no matter the pain of having that conversation will have, both parties need some kind of closure and explanation. Unless the relationship is an absolute train wreck, do it in person as both of you deserve this. So give them the courtesy of talking things over unless you really want the person to hate your guts.

“Loving someone harder doesn’t mean they’ll love you eventually.”

Relationships take time to grow and develop. Some take only a bit of time, while others may take a few dates or more. Whatever the case is, you need to be patient and give people the opportunity to catch up to where you are at.

Of course this isn’t a reason to be complacent. If you are bogged down with unrequited romance that leaves you sad, unloved, and uncared for, there comes a point where you need to move on. Similarly, loving someone more and putting in all that effort to love someone is not always the best move. Some people don’t like to be forced and as I said, like to take their time.