5 Reasons You Might Have Been Ghosted After a First Date
Getting ghosted is one of the worst feelings in the world. You are left wondering what you did to cause the person to get up and vanish from your life. It’s even worse if you’ve been ghosted after a first date!
So you went on a date, felt really good about it, and couldn’t wait to see them again. And you were convinced the feeling was mutual.
But then you send them a couple of texts, but get no response. Were things really that bad? How come they never gave you a hint that they didn’t like you?
Why did they ghost you? Here are 5 possible reasons along with ways to handle it.
1. They are cheating on their significant other
The scenario: They told you they were single and ready to mingle. Turns out, only the second half of that sentence was true. You were never meant to be anything more than the guy/girl they had on the side. Perhaps their significant other found out. Or they had become overwhelmed with guilt.
How to put it into perspective: Let’s be honest — do you really want to associate yourself with somebody who is willing to ruin their marriage or long-term relationship? If they were willing to potentially leave their partner for you, it would only be a matter of time before they replaced you with somebody else.
2. They weren’t attracted to you
It is admittedly difficult to accept that someone would ghost us because they don’t think we’re cute enough for them. After all, they saw your photos and decided you were attractive enough to communicate with and even meet, and yet once they actually saw you in real life, they just like “meh.”
How to put it into perspective – Unless you are a supermodel, people will not universally lust for you. Likewise, you can certainly recall times when somebody thought you were hot stuff, but you didn’t find them attractive. Just move on, be patient, and keep on trying.
3. You didn’t have the right personality
To be clear, this doesn’t mean you’re boring or a jerk. It’s just that there are certain personalities that they feel they mesh better with. Would it have been better if they had provided you with feedback so that you can improve next time you go on a date with somebody? Sure. But the whole reason they ghosted you is because they aren’t mature enough to level with you.
How to put it into perspective – If they don’t find you to be compatible, are you really missing out on anything? We don’t think so. Furthermore, who would want to be with somebody who acts the way he/she does?
4. They want to avoid confrontation
There’s no doubt that rejection hurts, and not everybody handles it well. So it’s natural that the person who is doing the rejection might not want to be made to feel guilty at best or threatened at worst. As they see it, since they aren’t interested in seeing you again, there’s no point in communicating with you at all.
How to put it into perspective – Not everybody who ghosts you is intending to be mean-spirited. They would just rather not have to tell you to your face that they aren’t interested since they figure that would probably hurt even more than simply not telling you anything at all.
5. There’s a lot going on in their lives
Not every act of ghosting is intentional. If they haven’t communicated with you after your first date, it might not have anything to do with you at all. Personal crises, family emergencies, and other unexpected events do happen. So even if they enjoyed seeing you, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t be their top priority at the time.
How to put it into perspective – This is definitely a situation where your looks, personality, or even their attitudes have anything to do with them disappearing. When people go through difficult times, they either need space to think about things or they only want a small, close group of family and friends to help them through it. Who knows; once they overcome it, they might get back in touch with you. But, of course, don’t allow yourself to gain a false sense of hope. This is merely a possible explanation for why they ghosted you.