20 Simple Things You Can Do To Stop Overthinking And Make Your Relationship Flourish
When we are finally dating the person of our dreams, we strive to do our best to make it work.
Any mistakes from past relationships are kept in mind and ensured that they aren’t repeated. Be it our over-possessive behavior or laid-back attitude, this new relationship is totally worth changing ourselves for the better. However, it may happen that we go overboard with our efforts. Checking for their text too often, seeking validation at all times, and the like. Such acts turn out to be counterproductive producing results opposite of what’s intended. Moreover, it also gets draining after a point of time and drives away all the fun in the relationship.
Even experts are of the opinion that it’s important to find a balance for a healthy and lasting relationship. Kathryn Sterling, a psychologist in marriage, believes it’s perfectly normal for individuals to delve a little too much into something once in a while. However, one must realize when it’s reaching the point where it can become a problem.
If you always find yourself either dwelling on the past or anxious about the future, you are certainly not enjoying the present. Several “what if” scenarios crop up in your head which determine your current actions. If this sounds relatable, you are clearly obsessing and need to do something to prevent it in its tracks.
Focus On Anything Positive
What about the promotion at work you were expecting? Or the family trip you planned the previous year? There are many more areas that require your care and attention. Your life is more than just this relationship. Give each segment its due concern and you’ll be at ease like never before. Directing all your energy to a mere one thing is never needed and doesn’t guarantee success. Instead, you have to let things flow naturally.
Thomas DiBlasi, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, recommends that we list our other priorities and spend time working on them. It can include anything but what’s already fogging our brain.
Meeting an old friend, visiting your parents, catching up on your favorite TV series, or anything that works for you.
Take A Deep Breath
Taking long deep breaths is the antidote to calm down anxiety. As cliché as it may sound, you have to try it to understand its effectiveness. It instantly relaxes your brain enabling you to think better and act with practicality and sound judgment.
You can also use other mindfulness techniques to achieve the same results advises Sue English, a family therapist. Other methods include counting the number of things around you that are of a certain color or singing along a favorite song.
Reconnect With Your Inner Values
One of the most crucial yet neglected things that mess up our peace of mind is when we lose touch with our inner values. Our willingness to make someone ours takes over and we end up doing things that may be against our ethics. Gradually, our actions begin to be a reflection of theirs. Everything we do is based on how they would react to it. This is high time you must take a step back and spend time alone, rebuilding the lost connection with your own self.
Ashleigh Edelstein, a therapist, says that being always bombarded with thoughts can promote disregard and ignorance. Therefore, diligent efforts are needed to sustain your compassion and other generous qualities.
See A Therapist
There is nothing wrong with admitting a problem and working upon it. If you choose to avoid it, it will only pile up and may even become unresolvable. A therapist can help you figure out the root cause of your issue and suggest corrective methods. If you have tried everything at your end and still find your overthinking habit getting the better of you, book an appointment with a therapist. According to Anna Osborn, a marriage therapist, some trauma from the past relationship can cause one to overthink the current one.
Acquaint Yourself With Some Psychology
Being familiar with a few psychology rules can go a long way in enabling you better understand your partner’s behavior and mood. It often happens that we completely misinterpret someone’s outlook resulting in unnecessary stress and confusion. At the same time, it can also shed some light on your overthinking habit making it easy for you to figure out ways to control those mind-boggling thoughts.