5 Things Guys Say and What They Might Actually Mean (3 of 3)

4. When he badmouths his ex

When your guy talks trash about his ex, calling her “crazy” and worse, the knowledge that there’s very little chance that they’ll ever get back together might provide you with some relief. But there are a couple things to take note of. First, you’re only getting one side of the story. For all you know, he could have been the source of toxicity in their relationship but is trying to make her out to be the villain. Furthermore, the fact that his ex lives rent-free in his head could be his bitter way of wishing the relationship hadn’t come to an end. A guy with a genuine gripe about an ex will find mature ways to share it with you and use it as a learning experience rather than an opportunity to take a crap on the memories of her.

5. When he tells you he’s afraid

Hearing a guy say, “I’m just so afraid I’m going to ruin this or hurt you,” sounds incredibly sweet and considerate, right? It gives the impression that he values you a lot and is terrified of his own shortcomings. But here’s the truth: Men often use this line as a pre-emptive disclaimer for bad behavior. By telling you beforehand that he’s worried about screwing up, he’s essentially setting the stage to dodge accountability later. Thus, when he ghosts you for a weekend (which is inevitable) or disrespects you, he can come back and say, “See? I told you I was afraid this would happen.” When a guy with good intentions is truly afraid of ruining a good thing, he’ll take steps to make sure he behaves himself, maintain an open line of communication, and strive to ensure you are never hurt by his actions. If he’s just repeating this phrase but not actually doing anything to prevent it, he has every intention of making it a self-fulfilled prophecy.