How to Reconnect When That Spark Is Missing (3 of 6)

Invite Conversation Gently

When you do talk, make sure the questions you ask are open-ended so that they have an opportunity to really engage with you. Questions like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” can ease the tension. Focus on listening to them rather than on your response. This will allow you to understand them and makes them feel validated. When your partner feels seen and heard, they’re more likely to open up again.

Start with Gratitude and Appreciation

If opening up (or getting them to express themselves) is difficult at first, start with appreciation. Share one positive trait that you admire about them. Express gratitude for something they’ve done, even if it was a relatively small achievement. You can heal your relationship by simply acknowledging their worth. This in turn can soften whatever resentment they might hold and help build a bridge in your relationship.