8 Clear Signs Your Girlfriend is Toxic
The key to a strong relationship is feeling love and support. So why do we guys sometimes feel like we’re never good enough for our girlfriends? It’s not always about us; we might be trying our absolute best to make our partners happy, but we always end up on the receiving end of jealousy, obsessive behavior and abusive tendencies. If this sounds like your relationship, read on and learn about the 8 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship.
1. All give, no take
Do you get the feeling that your relationship is a one-way street? If you are the only one putting in the effort, the answer is probably “yes.” You try to make her birthday feel special, but she doesn’t do the same when your birthday comes. Or she demands that you follow a set of rules that she herself doesn’t have to abide by. This can only lead to constant dysfunction.
2. She threatens to break up every time you have a disagreement
Partners who are masters of manipulation will constantly use the “break up” card at their disposal. If you don’t do what she says, it’s over. If you don’t think the way she thinks, she’s out of here. It sometimes makes you wonder if she’d rather be single. Or at least with another guy. These arguments aren’t spurned by issues like you acting irresponsible either; she demands that you forgo other commitments — including those related to your career —because she is jealous that you would devote time to anything but her.
3. The little misses turn into huge dramas
She asked you to pick up a gallon of milk after work but you forgot. She wanted you to take her to a certain restaurant on Valentine’s Day, but all the tables were booked. You ordered her the wrong latte. These aren’t exactly Earth-shattering things, and yet she responds with disproportionate anger. When this happens repeatedly, it is understandable that you might begin to question your worth.
4. She snoops around the text messages on your phone
She’s eavesdropping on your conversations with your friends and family. You can only get together with your friends if she is allowed to come along…and that’s only if she’s in the mood to go out. If she isn’t, you’re stuck at home too. But here’s the thing: living together does not mean she gets to smother you. You shouldn’t have to lock personal items in a drawer or only make plans if they include her. It will only lead to resentment.
5. She’s never wrong
Toxic girls don’t offer half-hearted apologies when they make mistakes; they flat out refuse to admit they make them at all. No matter how much she hurts you, oversteps relationship boundaries, or does something that is legitimately terrible, she always finds a way to justify it, even if it is to suggest that it is your fault that she “has no choice” but to behave a certain way. When you plead with her to listen to reason, she just doubles down. You are left at a complete loss.
6. You need her permission to do anything
Want to get a beer with your friends? Over her dead body. Looking forward to an afternoon of football on TV? Prepare for the rant about how watching sports is a complete waste of time. Want to spend Thanksgiving with your extended family? She’ll try to make you feel guilty and even demand to know what you think is wrong with her family. There is clinginess, and then there is something that takes it to a whole new level.
7. Different rules apply to you and her
You are not allowed to have any gal pals — not even the platonic ones that you knew long before meeting her — but her guy friends remain an active part of her life. She demands to scour through your phone, but won’t let you do the same. Healthy relationships involve a willingness from both partners to compromise, but you’re the only one giving any leeway.
8. She gets her kicks out of bullying you
We all have flaws and should want to improve ourselves as humans. But when your girlfriend’s criticism is unhelpful and even spiteful, it is clear that she is doing this to make herself feel better about her own insecurities. By doing this, she holds power over you and she knows it. In this situation there is no doubt that you are in a toxic relationship.