10 Values Every Couple Should Share

The idea that “opposites attract” is one we all seem to accept because there’s something romantic about a couple being compatible even when they have nothing in common. But the reality is, most relations are doomed to fail if the pair don’t share core values. Being on the same wavelength makes it a lot easier to reach goals and confront the challenges that every relationship faces. With all this in mind, here are 10 characteristics that every successful relationship requires. 

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1. Attraction

When we say “attraction” we are not simply making reference to physical attraction, although that is obviously important. Emotional attraction goes hand-in-hand with this. In other words, you might think somebody is gorgeous, but if they have personality traits that turn you off, no amount of good looks is going to allow you to ignore these flaws. Likewise, if your partner isn’t interesting, you are going to quickly grow apart no matter how good the sex is. 

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2. Listening

When couples listen to each other, it is a sign that they care about each other and have an interest in finding compromise whenever an issue arises. Listening doesn’t just involve being physically as your partner is talking either; it’s about making eye contact as they speak, paying attention to what they’re saying, and contributing to the discussion so that you both reach an understanding. 

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3. Conflict resolution

No matter how ideal your relationship might appear, there will be times when you strongly disagree about something. We might align with our partners in many ways, but ultimately we are two humans with different points of view, insecurities, and priorities. If you are unable to find ways to deal with the tension and minimize confrontation, the unresolved problems will continue to fester and eventually one of you is going to call it quits. 

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4. Devotion

Showing devotion to your partner is obviously an important core value. It’s not enough to be there for them when everything is going swimmingly; the couple need to overcome the challenges that life throws at them together. You aren’t expected to agree with your significant other 100% of the time, but you still need to put up a united front when dealing with outside conflicts. 

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5. Reciprocity

In any situation — whether it is friendship, your job, or an experience — you get out of it what you put into it. This is just as true when it comes to relationships. If there is a selfish partner who is always receiving but is never (or rarely) giving, it leaves the other partner feeling unfulfilled. When a significant other demands to be the center of attention and never allows their partner to be heard, tensions are bound to boil over and the relationship will be jeopardized. 

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6. Optimism

Having an optimistic outlook isn’t just about thinking positively, which is more about “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Rather, optimism involves thinking about the future and having confidence that things will get better. This is one of the things that gets a couple through the difficult times. They recognize that things might be hard right now and they have things they need to work on, but as long as they stick together and move forward, everything is going to be alright. 

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7. Acceptance

Nobody is perfect, and this is especially true with both you and your partner. But recognizing these imperfections and even embracing them — no matter how much they bother you — is what it means to be accepting. Rather than using rejection and criticism as the basis for dealing with an issue, you engage with your partner through problem-solving and acknowledgment. By making peace with the situation, you can grow as a couple and not allow these imperfections to come between your relationship. 

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8. Self-awareness

Being self-aware means reflecting on who we are and accepting responsibility for our actions. In particular, it is about examining our good and bad traits, and doing what we can to enhance our positive attributes while working on those bad habits, whether it is laziness, being confrontational, or being insensitive, in order to improve the relationship. 

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9. Being yourself

If it is your intention to be in a relationship with your partner for life, you won’t be able to hide your true self forever. Perhaps you are worried about showing your feelings and emotions, or act reserved or even mysterious because you’re afraid your partner will reject you if they knew the “real” you. The problem is, they would eventually have to know anyway. If they don’t like what they see and can’t accept you for who you are, they probably aren’t the one for you anyway. 

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10. Emotional support

One of the important perks of being in a relationship is having someone who is there for you when you’re going through a period of distress. When your partner isn’t there for you (or vice versa), it will lead to a feeling of abandonment and strong resentment, which will doom the relationship in the long run.