20 Main Reasons Why You’re Still Single (4 of 5)

You tend to overthink and self-destruct

Most of the people, who have been in a relationship, tend to overthink and get paranoid at the smallest of actions for no apparent reason. They start viewing the world around them on a similar basis and tend to self-destruct with whoever they associate. They tend to bring back their past in the present, and along the way, they damage their future. We should learn to control one self’s instincts and approach everything with an open attitude.

An ego starts surrounding a relationship due to the paranoia of one person. They tend to water the plant with an excess of water. Even though their intentions may be good, they are doing more harm than good. This leaves the watered plant damp and nutrition-less, which will eventually die.

The two ways through which one can avoid sabotaging of the relationship. Learn and acquire information on how to maintain a happy relationship.

This will help you think more analytically and help you understand the opposite perspective in a better way. This can range from following any successful online relationship forum or some friendly advice from a good couple of friends.

In a relationship, always asses the give/taken input from the past and compare it with the data of now.

This will help you understand if you are the one at fault. You may not be able to save a sinking ship, at least you can learn to swim well.

You are waiting for the ONE

You believe that while meeting anyone, you should be your true self, and try to engage in meaningful conversation with the other person. And according to you, the first impression is not the last. It is one of the many forms that you try as you start going on more dates with the same person. You want such a person, with whom you feel that every date with them is like a first date to you. You are waiting for that one person who will make you feel like that every time.

You are fed up of the dating culture and need a break

After a point in a forced relationship, you get to the point of giving up and are extremely exhausted to continue further. You have let your self-esteem down more times than you should have. You keep on giving them a chance; however, almost always they fail it. After a point, you need to let go off that relation if at all you want to maintain your sanity. It should be a mutual thing and you should not go on a date just for the sake of it.

You must give yourself a break and heal your soul and heart before going again on the field of action. It’s never that we don’t find the right person; it actually is that we are never ready or right to be that right person ourselves. If we are right, we may get the ONE just as quickly.

A relationship is not a kid’s play that we can play it once then forget it. Relationships need to be given time and space to nurture. It requires hard work, energy, will and, most important of all, undying love. If these things are not present, one may never experience the fruits of the plants we sowed.

You don’t have a sense of personal liability for your own well-being

People come together in a relationship to help each other grow and share the love they deserve. It can never be a one-sided affair, so in that sense, if a person himself doesn’t have any accountability for his or her own well-being, how can someone else expect something of him or her. It is the major reason people remain single

One should devote time to a relationship and must have a charming and decent demeanor. One must stop looking for external pleasures and must search for love from within. One must direct his or her energy in developing one’s personality and not for endless right-swiping. The right person will come just right along.

Due to personal traumas and experiences, you equate love with pain

Due to traumas in childhood or adulthood, our brain seems to perceive even the slightest hint of love with cheat and pain. Our brain or we ourselves are incapable enough to tolerate such betrayal again, hence, we try to avoid it at any cost. Also, the idea of singlehood gives a sense of independence and no emotional liability and accountability to anyone.

So, to avoid the above scenario, we must try to learn about the sources of these traumas and try to dissolve them. And take those traumas as lessons to remember for the future.

When we firmly believe in the idea that relationships are fatal and hurtful, it feeds negatively to our subconscious mind, which unwilling controls our conscious mind too. This is what we call instincts. Once you compel your conscious mind to lay-off the subconscious trauma, it’s easier to proceed in life.