The 23 Mistakes Will End Up Hurting Your Game In The Dating World
In the wild dating arena, the one who breaks all rules gets the throne most of the time. As such, when being cliché can’t get you the one you want, the existence of a rulebook for the most favourable outcome becomes void. Well, don’t be disheartened. Even if there isn’t a set of things that you can do, there might be a few you can most definitely avoid to not screw things up. More so, perhaps cupids’ blessings may fall on this minority who do follow the advice we have just for you, that is carefully handpicked by our very own matchmakers, therapists, and dating experts. So let’s see how to bungle in the jungle.
You ignore the initial warnings
It’s understandable if you want to settle down with the person whom you find attractive or feel a connection. But, if you have already started noticing their aspects which you don’t like much, don’t push them aside. Just because your partner is fine with all your faults and overlooks your mistakes, it doesn’t mean you need to put up with everything that they do. Mark my words, it will bother you more in the long run if it has started bothering already. Say what you feel to do good to both.
You love the potential and aim for transforming
Have you ever thought of bringing about a change in someone and loving them for their potential? Well if so, you should be their best friend and not their date. When in the dating world, where people try to present their best selves forward, accept them for who they are and love them for seeing you the same. Yes, there might be flaws, but then again it is your choice whether you can live with it or if it’s a deal-breaker.
You lose yourself and your closed ones
It has been seen that people push everyone in their life just to be with their partner. Everyone else’s importance in your life might seem to be decreasing because of your increasing connection with your significant one, but this might be a leading path to disaster. Forgetting your ways and losing sight of who you are will put you at a higher risk of being vulnerable during hard times in the relationship or breakups. Also, the people who back you up always will be lost.
You can’t identify the line between chemistry with lust
This thin line is very difficult to identify. Few of us don’t let things spice up more just because of the misinterpretation of chemistry as lust. It isn’t the sexual tension but the simple ‘emotion’ that two people get when they share a special connection. It makes you want to meet the person again. Lust is a one-time thing, but chemistry is something that grows with time. So, don’t miss out on that spark and give it time to blossom.
Loneliness can be the one that drives you
A one-man army may not stand for long but that shouldn’t be the reason to search for company. Its fine for a relationship to be a want but not a need when in such situations. Let things be organic and take its course. Don’t let the void in you to be left to be filled by the one you desire because when it becomes a need, love will become secondary.
Looking for a best friend and not a partner?
As often said, friendships lead to the best relationships and best friends make the best partners. This doesn’t mean that you will keep on looking for a friend first and then a partner. Due to this, many relationships end with the issue of having no spark in the long run. So, the basis of your entire relationship should not be just friends.
You try to be someone to fit in expectations
You tend to put your best foot forward while dating. But there exists a very thin line between doing the right things and pretending to be someone else. I believe people prefer authenticity in the present world. Who would go out with a person who themselves can’t accept the way they are? If your partner realizes that you are putting up with everything that they say and have no opinions or views of your own, it might push them away. Having different opinions and morals makes a relationship stronger which the majority of people don’t realize. Don’t go to the concert if you don’t like the band just because your partner is mad fun of it.
Searching for the lost radiance, in the present lit flame
A spark once it is gone always leaves its embers and ash. Knowingly or unknowingly, we, at most times, see the ones we loved before or try to see them in the ones we have now. But the fact that we should remember is that everyone isn’t the same and each unique person brings their own set of experiences. If the person in front of you makes you the happiest, then hold on to them the best you can do instead of having other thoughts because happiness isn’t easy to come by.
You come across as too vulnerable and needy
In a relationship, all of us want to feel needed. It gives us happiness when they need us and look out for us to comfort them, doesn’t it? But, you don’t want to come out as too needy as it isn’t healthy for a relationship. There are several checks you can ensure that you aren’t being clingy towards your partner. If you are the first to text, check their social media, make out time for them, give them surprises, etc., then you might need to back out a bit to create healthy boundaries.
Are negative thoughts getting the better of you?
How do you see yourself? This might be a question that most tend to avoid, but when in a relationship, it will come to matter a lot. Negative thoughts about yourself lower your confidence while elevating your significant other. When such an unbalance is formed, self-doubt regarding whether you deserve the other creeps in and this is how cracks are formed which slowly become unrepairable.
You talk about the future too early
Dating isn’t to end up with the person you are seeing for your whole life but to explore your likes and dislikes about people. Talking about the future of the relationship too early might scare them away. You need to give the other person time to get comfortable and open up their heart before opening up yours to ensure that you both are on the same page. Don’t pour your heart out too soon.
It’s good to give the right swipes a rest
A swipe right might provide you with all the fun for the day but not forever. Dating apps have become part of the norm, but being too reliant on them will only lead to commoditizing partners instead of humanizing them. Even though it makes things a lot easier as it straight away gets to the point, this shouldn’t be the reason for you to date. Its convenience shouldn’t get the better of you instead of you getting from it.
You are in search of a deep connection instantly
As mentioned earlier, dating isn’t for finding serious relationships but to explore your likes and dislikes as you interact with the people around you. If you find it, well and good but don’t scare people away talking about commitments and deep connections instantly. You don’t want to build your relationship with your potential partner based on your vulnerability but he qualities that make you who you are. Avoid sharing your past experiences and relationships. Talk more about who you are and the qualities that make you. I assure you that this comes out as much more attractive than your pain points early in dating.
You look for wrongs instead of rights in the person
Dating in the present world is as fast as our lives. Nobody has extra time to spare than the required amount which makes people run through their potential partners like machines. In this process, you tend to look for wrongs in them rather than the rights. You lose interest and overlook the areas you could have bonded over. We forget that all relationships aren’t perfect. What we need is to bond over rights and overcome the wrongs together.
When the baggage to be left behind still lays on your shoulders
To move on is to let go, and to hold on is to be burdened by it for a lifetime. This line describes and advises those who due to various reasons are separated. It is a human tendency to live in the past. Time is what that heals everything, so without sufficient time your foundations will never be stable and it is on this that you build up your new budding relationships. This doesn’t mean to stop thinking and it doesn’t imply to keep on regretting; what it says is to think about what went wrong and improve where the cracks begin to form. Only then can you leave behind and move onwards towards a happy life.
You let conversations go one-sided
We all firmly believe that the first impression is the last but this doesn’t mean that you will go on talking about yourself on your first date. You come out as too self-centered and arrogant. On the other hand, asking too many questions to your date without revealing anything about yourself also isn’t a good idea. According to studies, the best conversations happen when you talk about yourself a bit and then have a follow-up question from the other person. This makes the conversation go on without getting boring for both of you.
You let others’ expectations get to your head
When meeting someone new, we feel a need to prove ourselves to them. We focus too much on what they want and expect from us, forgetting about what we are looking for in that relationship. Honestly should be the pillar of relation and not expectations and fake behavior. You won’t mess things up and will get the desired attention if healthy and honest communications happen. Stay true to yourself and your values.
The limits to which you settle yourself
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, but how much will you give up for love? But the question is “Should you give up so much”? The fact that you will be left to face your fears alone in itself is the biggest fear which makes us lose one, two and sometimes a dozen needs. This only promotes low self-esteem and in most cases, a recurring pattern of people going on an unwanted tangent of finding a partner.
You’re Not the one who shares their feelings
Speaking about your feelings is a necessity because no one else is going to know it through magic or hints that you think you are expressing. Expressing your true feelings might be difficult because you don’t know if your potential partner also feels the same way or no. But, hoping that they will understand without saying it out loud will hurt more. Once you communicate, then only new opportunities will be open, but if you don’t, possibilities will never unfold. So, start letting people know about how you feel and don’t expect them to understand through signs and hints.
Where You See Yourselves in the long run
First of let’s see how you are viewing the whole picture. Do you take it way seriously that you will jump off a cliff or are you thinking to drift in the clouds hoping for days to be filled with sunshine? Either way, dating passively won’t end well for you. You, more than anyone else, know what you want and what you are looking for, so always have this thought in your mind when you move forward in a relationship. This clear picture will help you differentiate along the line who is right for you and who isn’t.
Doesn’t the bigger picture give more clarity?
There are times when most of us forget the very basic fact that being in a relationship is different from dating. When the whole point of dating is to find your interests in people around, there is no reason to give it your all and that too for one specific person while you are dating, especially when they might not be exclusive to you. Also, dating more than one person allows you to have a broader view and will help you to see people in their various states before betting your money on one. This also prevents getting attached way more than you should be, and saves you from heartbreaks.
But does the big picture make you lose focus?
While we suggest going for it, we hope those words won’t get to your head. Being too invested in one has its issues, but then again being invested in many will also have its series of implications. When you have a variety, will anyone settle for one? Thus, distributing your time and affection for many will make it difficult for you to be content with one. We choose the best traits amongst many and form a vague picture of what we want, when at the same time we tend to forget that this at most times is just a creation of our imagination.
The quick replies are a green flag
Doesn’t the anxiety, excitement, and all the pumped-up energy when you meet someone new get translated into your texts? Well, you might think you have a good head start in the game especially with those quick replies, but it only tampers with what you have going on in your real life and even leads to many relationships degrading.
Discussing every moment of your lives through your phones only makes it challenging to communicate in real-time when you meet up.
So, here we listed out all the common dating mistakes that that most people make, so that after reading this, you don’t make the same mistakes. We hope it helps you, and don’t forget to check out our other articles down below. Happy Dating!