13 Signs Divorce Is Coming
When you think of marriage issues, the first thing that comes to mind is infidelity. One person cheating on the other. For celebrities, it’s a massive scandal that is plastered everywhere. And while things like that certainly spell doom for a couple, there are dozens of other cues that have led up to this point.
In fact, not every divorce ends with one cheating on the other.
To prove that, let us show you some of the other signs that can suggest that a divorce is imminent.
There Is No Conflict Or Bickering In The Relationship
It sounds like a dream come true. No more fighting with your partner and you all agree on whatever the other is saying.
While it can be a relief, it’s not always a good sign as people think. Remember that while arguing is uncomfortable, it takes effort. It’s a sign that each person in the relationship is working to compromise and make the relationship smoother.
Arguing in a relationship is the same thing as putting in time to make the relationship work. If you agree with everything it shows that whoever is doing that doesn’t want to invest in the relationship.
On the other hand, you could have the exact opposite, where you’re arguing all the time. But don’t get your hopes up if you are. It’s worth looking at the quality of the arguments.
It’s one thing to argue or have conflict about opinions on subjects or topics, but it’s another if you’re arguing over clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, or forgotten milk on the counter.
When your “arguing” has devolved to fights over small and trivial matters, it’s due to communication issues.
The Teasing Is Getting Personal
It’s natural for couples and people who have a bond of sorts to poke and prod at one another. All of it is in good fun of course. However in a marriage, if the jokes are going a little too far, it could be a sign that the relationship is crumbling.
How you can spot that difference is when the jokes start to feel more like personal jabs at the individual’s character. For example, you can tease about the fact that they leave dishes in the sink, but when it evolves into joking about how lazy they are, that’s not good.
Picturing A Future Without Them
Another sign comes from within and it’s to do with your future. Couples talk about their future and it’s important to discuss that. It’s where their dreams and ambitions are after all. You may have discussed that with them in the past, but it’s worth revisiting now and again.
It pays to do that because people change and if you don’t see your partner in the same light as before, you may be thinking of a life without them deep down. This is a clear sign that things aren’t going to work out.
Not Imagining Them
Daydreaming and dreams are part of our lives. Even if we don’t remember them, we can at least remember some bits and pieces. But most importantly, if we are thinking of our partner in our dreams then that’s a good sign.
Because if we’re not, it’s clear that we are slowly creating a world where our partner doesn’t exist. That or we begin to see daydreaming or sleeping as a means of escaping from our reality.
There Is Less Sex
While it’s natural for people to get tired, busy, or overwhelmed from aspects of life, if people are using it as reasons to have less sex, it might be a sign of a failing marriage. Sex is not only stress relief, but it’s a way to bond.
By denying time in the bedroom, there’s good odds you won’t be paying attention to them outside of the bedroom.
Frequent Arguments About Money
Money is one of the largest culprits for divorce. According to Magnify Money’s 2017 survey, 21 percent of respondents chalked up financial issues as reasons to divorce.
While arguing about financial plans or high-ticket items is reasonable, do keep in mind that these arguments should be infrequent. If you are constantly bickering about it, not only will the arguments take a toll on you and your partner, but it’s also an indication that you never shared priorities in future goals.
After all, money is necessary for pretty much any goal you want to achieve in some fashion.
You’re Not Telling Them Bad News First
From medical emergencies to flat tires, most happy couples will tell their spouse about this immediately. While external relationships are important, most people will normally think of their partner as their first point of contact. If they’re thinking of their friends or family first, that might not be a good sign.
The same holds true to good news as well. The first person to hear about it should normally be your partner.
You’re Experiencing Loss Already
Divorce is hard emotionally. Even if you don’t like your partner at the moment, there is still going to be a lot of pain from the process. But even before you make the decision to divorce, you have likely felt this sense of loss for a while.
Like you lost a close friend whom you trusted and cared for.
If you’re already experiencing loneliness or sadness, then it’s better to deal with it now than later.
You’re Not Asking About Their Day
That or feeling indifferent about their day. Regardless, these are casual chats and an opportunity to bond and connect. While they don’t seem like much, these are important to building and maintaining a relationship.
Once one or the other starts to show indifference or doesn’t care about these conversations, it’s a sign they’re not going to put in effort to grow or maintain this relationship.
There Are More Silences And Less Depth
Silence doesn’t always mean something is festering underneath. Sometimes silence can be really good. But it starts to become tougher when there are awkward silences.
It’s a given that in two years into a relationship, there will be conversational plateaus. It’s not so much that you’re not going anywhere, but they’re pretty standard and are nice all around. But once those conversations start to become awkward, that’s where it’s tougher. By not being able to make small talk with them, it can be a sign that you’re disconnected from them.
On the other hand, a lack of deep conversations can also be a troubling sign of divorce. Sure they’re not going to pop up every single day, but these deep conversations are important. They’re opportunities to get to know one another better and show deeper appreciation for them. If all you are having with them is empty “small talk” and not digging deeper, then it’s a sign of total lack of interest.
You’re Codependent Or Too Independent
Codependency stems from being around one another most of the time. While togetherness is important, you don’t want to feel totally attached to one another over the day. At the end of the day, there is a problem if you’re spending way too much time together.
In happy relationships, while a good portion of time spent is with each other, there is also time for them to do their own thing. Whether it’s work or a hobby, it’s important for couples have some time to themselves in some way.
Of course, there is something to be said about too much alone time as well. When you’re shutting away the other person, it’s as we’ve said before: you’re not invested in the relationship. Being alone and preferring it suggests you might as well not be in a relationship at all.
What we’re getting at is that there needs to be a balance between alone time and quality time together.
You Spend More Time On Your Phone Or With Your Vices
Social media addiction is a thing and when you are spending more time on your phone overall than with your spouse, then it’s a clear sign that divorce is coming. According to a 2014 Pew report, 72 percent of adult internet users stated that the internet had “no real impact” on their marriage. While that’s good, the same report said that 20 percent who said it did have an impact and said it was negative.
In the end, if you or your partner is spending more time on their phone than with you, or is distracted by their phone, it’s bad.
The same holds true to our vices as well. Whether it’s gambling, drinking, smoking, or some other unhealthy habit, these vices can be seen in the same way as overusing our phone. Instead of dealing with marital problems, we focus more on these things as a means of distracting ourselves.
There Is Little Interest In Working It Out
The beauty about relationships and people is that they can bounce back. There is marriage counselling, but also we can look to ourselves and improve ourselves as well. If you think your marriage is worth it, it’s worth taking the time to change your ways or your partner’s ways.
Keep in mind that you can’t force change on them, but it’s worth asking them if they want to heal the relationship and fix it. Lack of intimacy, jealousy and loneliness can be fixed. So long as both parties involved want to work it out.
If not, well, it’s hard to fix it if someone refuses to change.