20 Lessons Learned From Failed Relationships (4 of 4)

“Don’t make your partner the only source of positivity in your life.”

When people get into relationships, they can slip into a state of depending on that one person for their own happiness. As soon as that person goes on with their day, the other person’s day is a wreck, depressing and grey.

In those relationships, one person is in dire need of constant romantic affection in order to be happy and that sort of system is built for failure. After all, people have places to go and sometimes they don’t want someone always clinging to them.

So if you are the type of person who is too clingy, take some time to love and appreciate yourself and learn to be comfortable with yourself.

“Spend time together. It’s important.”

No matter how much is going on in your life, make sure that you have time devoted to your relationships. Like with friendships, time can strain relationships or strengthen them depending on what you choose to do.

If you want to grow it, spend quality time with your partner. Get to know them and get into deeper topics, rather than merely chatting and hanging out. Set aside time for vacations together or activities in town. These sorts of activities are simple, but they keep relationships alive day after day.

“The relationship should have the good outweighing the bad.”

Of course, relationships have their lows and there are particular qualities that can put dampers on relationships as well. But the truth is – everyone has their flaws and no relationship in the world will always have constant highs.

What’s important in the relationship is that the ups outweigh all of the downs of the relationship you have. There ought to be more good times than bad.

“Look at how they treat others in their life.”

The best way to get to know someone is to understand how they behave around their other friends and family. As one saying goes “If you want to know how a man treats their women, look to how they treat their mother.”

That saying has some nugget of truth to it. After all you don’t want to be hanging around someone who is cold or distant from other people and yet showers you with adoration. This is important because soon enough they’ll start to show their real colours and start treating you like they would with anyone else.

So make a point of seeing how they act around others.

“Everything boils down to timing.”

One thing with dating to keep in mind is this:

The right person for you is the wrong person showing up at the wrong time.

Sometimes we’re not in a place where we can commit to something or get involved with other people’s lives. Whether it’s pursuing a career or figuring ourselves out, there are many times we’re not ready for it.

Pair that up with the heartache of break ups and you can see why it can be challenging for people to find the right partner for them.

But remember this: the good news is that if you are being honest with yourself and you make a point of calling things off in a respectful manner, there will always be opportunities to reconnect when you are in a better spot.