These 21 Tricks Will Assist You In Becoming A More Caring Spouse
Let’s admit this. During the phase of courtship, we never thought anything could ever go wrong in our relationship or the spark could ever die. But, did it remain the same a couple of years post marriage? Obviously not. And how will it? It is one thing to spend some quality time with someone that matches your interest, while its an entirely different thing to live with someone under the same roof, share chores and responsibilities and enjoy doing it for the rest of your life.
However, every once in a while, we do come across a couple who would have completed many years being together and still look like they are in awe of each other. Well, that’s not as easy to achieve as it looks. There is a lot of concern and passion that goes into keeping a relationship happy and healthy. We have mentioned below 21 tricks that are sure shot methods when you have to bring back that craziness in your married life. These methods are backed by couple therapists and experts, so you can rely on them without thinking even twice.
Being attentive and listening to them
Active listening is crucial, not just when you are with your spouse, but in any conversation that you are a part of. And it is sad that we fail to understand its importance ninety percent of the time. So, whenever you are with your spouse – be there with your mind, body, and soul. If you can’t for some reason, just let them know you are caught up and will talk to them later.
Letting them know they’re on your Mind
Just because you two are now married, that shouldn’t mean you can’t use cheesy, lovey-dovey lines on your partner. There is no better feeling than knowing you are being missed by your better half. Beverly B. Palmer, a clinical psychologist, stresses the importance of this point. She says that to be a thoughtful partner, you have to take some time out to “let your partner know you are thinking about them and putting them first in your mind.”
Checking in with them
It cannot be expressed in words what a calm and meaningful conversation with your spouse can do for your relationship. Emily Sounder, a licensed couple therapist, encourages her clients to ask their partners questions of the sort of “how is everything going” or “is there anything I can do for you.” This would help you immensely in understanding your spouse’s behavior and moods. She highlights the fact that the incidents happening outside your home also have a bearing on your relationship.
Planning a trip
Traveling relaxes your mind and rejuvenates your body like nothing else. It doesn’t matter whether you are out on a solo trip, with friends or with family, a trip to a hill station or a beach city is just what it takes to push all your life’s troubles at a far back corner of your brain. And, can there be a better travel partner than the person you have chosen to raise your kids and get old with? So, what are you waiting for? Book tickets now before they run out. But wait! Ask your partner where they would like to spend their holiday.
Surprising them with your culinary skills
No matter whether someone is a foodie or not, everyone likes to eat. It is something we do three times or day (or even more). Therefore, it goes without saying that if you want to please someone, the easiest route has to be serving them their favorite dish. Moreover, there is something really heart-warming about someone taking the effort to cook something up for you. It just makes you feel like the most special person on the planet. Worry not! It’s not even one bit about how the food turns out. Believe us, your partner is going to appreciate your efforts.
Making eye contact with them
It is said, and rightly so, that if you stare into someone’s eyes for more than a few minutes your heartbeats sync. Thus, if two people are actually connected by heart then they can have a conversation by just looking into each other’s eyes and without having to utter a word. Carley Claney, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist says, “(eye contact) is a demonstration of true connectedness. It can communicate ‘I’m here,’ ‘I’m listening,’ ‘I’m available,’ and ‘you are important.’”
Opening the door for them
Hold on. We aren’t asking you to open the door for your spouse every time the two of you are out together. But, if you can do it every once in a while then you will be conveying a lot many messages than just being chivalrous. You are letting your partner know that you are grateful for their presence in your life and that your love for them hasn’t faded by even a shade.
Eating together and without your phones
One of the best ways to connect with someone has to be having a meal with them. It is so because your mind is much relaxed when you are sitting down for a meal as compared to when you are doing anything else. Nowadays, nearly everyone seems to be addicted to their phones. And this addiction is quite understandable. From letting us connect with people to helping us work to many more things, our phone has indeed become our lifeline. However, when you are spending quality time with your spouse, we recommend you switch your phone off and put it away. Let your partner have all your attention.
Whenever you notice that your partner has gone out of their way to do something for you or your kids or your parents, do not shy away from acknowledging their efforts and thanking them. According to Michelle Morton, a wife, entrepreneur, and mother, “we all take things for granted and our spouses are one of those things. It is easy to do, especially on a daily basis, but we need to step back and remember…. everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated.”
Penning down your love for them
There can be no better gift than a love note from the person who has your heart. The magic of the written words is unmatchable. Through a letter, you may be able to convey things that you may find difficult when your partner is sitting across you. Don’t panic if you haven’t written in years. Just pull out a pen and a sheet of paper and begin scribbling whatever comes to your mind. Pen down every quality of your partner which makes you want to love them unconditionally.
Apologizing for your err0rs
If the word ‘sorry’ has never been in your dictionary, its high time you bring about some changes in your behavior. If you have done something offensive, the right thing to do is to admit your mistake and apologize. Going about it like you did nothing wouldn’t make your partner get over it, as well. And the most important thing is to never go to bed being angry with your spouse. Always make up with them before you doze off.
Okay. So your beloved wife is all decked up in a sexy dress for a day out with her friends and you can’t help but stare at her amazing figure. That’s fine. Stare all you want. She is yours and only yours. However, you would be doing nothing wrong if you drop a compliment or two appreciating her gorgeousness. And girls, you too. Let your guy know he is looking irresistible every time he does. They love to be complimented just as much as we do.
Kissing them goodnight
You can communicate so many emotions by just kissing. For instance, a kiss on the forehead denotes care, one on the cheeks shows likeness, while the same on lips evoke passion. Hence, you should kiss your lover at every opportunity you get and one before you both fall asleep is a must. Kissing goodnight is even more needed if one or both of you have been too caught up and didn’t get to connect all day.
Holding their hand
Holding hands is the ideal way to display your affection and togetherness. A long walk hand-in-hand will draw you two closer both physically and emotionally.
Giving them a massage
A full body massage is the next best thing, after sex, to be physically intimate with someone. It is just what one needs after a hectic day of work. Massage releases all the tension in our muscles and energizes our bodies. Offer to give your loved one a nice, long massage every now and then and you’ll get a lot more in return.
Not Keeping Scores
Your relationship is your life and not a football match that you have to keep the scores up to date. If you did something for your partner, it’s not necessary that your partner too should do something of the same magnitude for you. Try and understand that it’s alright if your love has been too busy lately and cannot express their concern for you as often as you do. Rest assured, that they will return the favor as and when they get the time to.
Gifting them flowers
There can be no person who doesn’t get delighted at the sight of a bunch of fresh roses or lilies. The scent of flowers has the power to leave one mesmerized and make us let go of any ill-feeling we may be having for the person we are getting them from. If you can’t decide what to gift your special one on their special day, flowers would be the safest option. They can never go wrong.
Discussing the future with them
Your spouse is one person you should unabashedly be capable of talking about anything with. These should be no filters when you two are engaged in a conversation. And never be afraid of discussing your future with them such as the number of kids you want, when you would want them, how you would like to raise them, where you want to buy a house, and the like.
Giving them space
If you are a clingy spouse, get this straight. This person has chosen you to be their companion for the rest of their life. There is no need for you to always be around them or keeping a watch on them. If you don’t give them enough space, you would be only pushing them away from you and making them lose interest in you. At the same, you mustn’t give way too much space making your partner feel like you’re a distant relative.
Doing a chore
Household chores aren’t the responsibility of just one partner. You may be spending more hours in the office, but that is no excuse for your lack of interest in helping your partner with the chores. Don’t wait for your partner to ask for your help. Do it without being asked and do not expect them to be grateful. It is as much your duty as it is theirs.
Saying “I love you”
The impact of these three words on our mood is often underestimated. Remember how you felt the first time someone told you this? Didn’t you get euphoric? It is a widely accepted fact that no one can ever get bored of being told that they are loved. Never miss a chance to say ‘I love you’ to your spouse.