20 Signs That The Relationship Is Over For Sure
There are many complaints that newly single people have. But one that crops up all the time is that they wish they cut the relationship out of their lives sooner than they did. Why is that? Well it boils down to a series of signs that a relationship is failing.
Some are subtle while others are abundantly clear and can make people miserable and loathing of each other. So if you’re in a relationship now, or these signs are showing up, take them for what they actually are and move on to better things.
The only other thing to keep in mind is that when reaching the end of a relationship it’s not always a bad thing. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. It’ll sting for a while, but it’s better to have it handled rather than it clinging to you for longer than it should. Who knows, maybe cutting it off sooner could save the relationship and you could still be friends.
Spending More Time With Friends And Family Over You
The most obvious one is who they’re spending time seeing as your partner or yourself will feel urged to spend more time with other people rather than the relationship itself. In a sense it’s a sign of them preparing to live without you and it can even be a way of coping without fixing any problems.
Whatever the case is, the idea is if they can live without you in the picture then surely you can be removed from the picture entirely.
Avoiding The House
Maybe you’re not at the stage where you are living with your partner, but if you are living with your partner, this is a sign that things are bad. Similar to the avoiding time with each other, if you or your partner is spending way too much time outside to avoid you, it’s a dead giveaway.
Spending More Time With Kids
Speaking of spending more time, another element is the kids. Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone, but if you do have kids, it’s worth looking at how much quality time you spend with them.
One big sign of a crumbling relationship is when you spend more time with your own flesh and blood than you do with your partner.
Even Alone Together Is Limited
While I’ve probably beaten this topic to death already, it’s still another distinct sign of a crumbling relationship and that when you do spend time together it’s limited. Even if you aren’t purposely avoiding them, if you’re not putting the time into the relationship then you’re not growing it. This creates rifts and more problems.
The Boredom Seeps Into Other Things
If a relationship bores you you can tell, because that boredom won’t just impact the relationship, but everything else. Many people report boredom as a problem in a relationship and that can make sense. It’s why there are so many articles out there proposing things to do to spice things up in the bedroom, but also for dates.
Keeping interest is needed because that boredom will start to go into other areas. You won’t say as many interesting things when you’re with friends because you’ll find that they’re not worth talking about.
Or maybe you or your partner have to make a point of repeating themselves or yourself. Boredom can seep into attention span and that’s where this sign starts to become more obvious.
Becoming Extremely Agreeable With Each Other
This one is a subtle one because no one enjoys fighting. It’s an ugly process and it can be hurtful as well. But arguing doesn’t always mean that a relationship is bad. In fact, when you are agreeing to everything it’s actually a sign that the couple is done for. Why? Because fighting can bring understanding and it’s also incorporating negotiations. It’s these sorts of aspects that while we don’t think of them as much, play a significant role in keeping a relationship alive.
At the end, when a couple wants to break up or divorce, negotiations are part of the course. If they’re indifferent to the whole situation that means even trying to make things work between you is over as well.
Not Telling You First When Something Big Happens
Whether it’s starting something new like a business or a hobby or getting a promotion or losing a client, it’s worth looking at who they tell first. In usual relationships, couples are quick to tell their partner the good – or bad – news. If not, well it’s worth looking at the validity of the relationship.
No Longer Doing “Your” Activities As A Couple
There comes a point in a relationship where a couple will have rituals and habits together. Could be a morning routine or making a certain meal on a certain day every week or watching a specific show together. Whatever the case is, these rituals are signs of a crumbling relationship. That is if one or the other suddenly skips out on them, I mean.
It feels weird and it’s a pretty big giveaway that the relationship is going sour.
Not Getting Therapy
Could be you or your partner or even both of you. Whatever the case is, therapy is a good way of getting things back on track and refusal can be a significant sign they don’t want to work it out.
Feeling Alone Even When Together
Physically together while emotionally feeling alone and disconnected from each other. It’s a subtle sign and is one of the big concerns that comes up when looking at therapy. Therapists hear this problem all the time to the point that this is a sign that the relationship is going bad.
A Feeling That One Can Do Better
Change is inevitable. People will evolve and grow over time little by little without realizing it. While that progress is amazing, some people grow more over the years as new things happen in their lives as well.
A relationship can do some significant things in people’s lives. But it’s one thing to show happiness for that person making those changes and it’s another to question yourself and your own progress.
Sure the person you met a year or two ago and started dating loves you, but when you’re thinking of questions like “where is this going” or “do I really want this?” – there comes a point where those could be nudging you away from them.
Not Kissing Like They Mean It
Kissing in every culture is a sign of love and affection and looking at what’s being done in there can be a sign of a crumbling relationship too. A quick peck or an impersonal attempt at kissing can suggest there is no passion. Especially when you know their kissing felt good before.
This one is a sneaky one too, since everyone’s weight shifts around. From diet to the amount of exercise people do, having clothing not fit or be a battle to fit can be part of the course. But there is one other thing that can contribute to weight gain: emotional dysregulation.
If your clothes aren’t fitting, it’s worth looking at your living habits, but also looking at your relationship too. Relationship problems can lead to us coping with issues in our own ways and sometimes our coping is buying a big ol’ Costco bag of M&M’s.
Weight gain is one thing, but hair loss is something else to consider. Sure we’re getting older and hair loss can happen in that case, but it is worth noting one thing with hair loss. Studies have shown hair loss to be more frequent when someone has higher stress levels. Sure people lose hair for various reasons, but if you know your relationship is turning bad and you’re starting to see hair slipping out, it’s a sign.
Noticing Flaws More
Maybe they struggle to take the trash out or forget to put the toilet seat down. Or maybe there is something they do that just irritates you and they can’t fix it. That’s part of the course with relationships, but it’s another thing when you start to notice those more and more and start raging on them about those.
This is big, because you’re more fixated on the things they are doing wrong, rather than on the positive qualities you fell in love with in the first place.
Not Talking About The Future
When couples are madly in love, one topic they cover is the future. Not only do they cover goals and ambitions on a personal level, but also where they see the relationship going. When those discussions stop, it’s obvious that they’re prioritizing themselves over the relationship.
The Sex Life Is Different
While changes in the bedroom alone aren’t always dead giveaways, if there are other factors in play, it can suggest something is wrong. Sex is more than just physical intercourse. There’s a whole slew of emotional aspects, as well as it allows partners to be vulnerable and emotionally open with each other. When something doesn’t feel right or there is a sense of dread when thinking of this topic something might be up.
Doing Only Group Dates
Date night is wonderful, and going on group dates is good as well. But it’s one thing to dabble in both and another to only do group dates. When people are doing this a lot, it can be a sign that you or your partner could be a “third wheel” to a double date.
In essence, doing double dates all the time replaces the traditional dates and can spell danger.
Gut Feeling Is Acting Up
Our gut feeling is incredible in that when something feels off it will let us know. That much is true when it comes to something off with a relationship as well. Our body will register that imbalance and tell us, “hey, something is up.”
Could be a hunch or a gut instinct, but as the saying goes, if there is smoke, there is a fire.