15 Signs That You Apologize Too Much
Saying “sorry” isn’t a thing that is reserved to Canadians. Many people all around the world have a tendency to apologize too much. This nervous habit is often brought up when friends or family are poking fun at it, but this is a way of them helping you to break that cycle.
Because while you might not think much of it, over-apologizing is actually a root cause to low self-respect, perfectionism and a fear of disconnection. In other words, it can be a serious problem that should be addressed.
To help with that, here are some specific signs that show if you’re someone who apologizes too much.
Apologizing For Stuff Outside Of Your Control
The biggest sign that you over-apologize is when you are apologizing for things outside of your control. Did your friend or co-worker get wet because it’s raining outside and you apologized? How about apologizing for mistakes that someone else made?
These are clear signs that you are extending your apologizes too much because the weather and other people’s actions are two things out of your control. Instead of saying sorry to things that can’t contribute nor change the situation, work on having sympathy for the person’s frustration or distress.
Saying Sorry For Things You Don’t Think Are Wrong
Say sorry when you feel there is a need to, but there is a problem when you start to say sorry for things that you don’t think are wrong. For example, saying “I’m sorry” for thinking a way that someone else would disagree with. That’s a difference in opinion, which you’re entitled to.
If you find yourself in this situation, start going back to apologizing with intentions. This means avoid saying sorry because a situation becomes awkward or creates conflict.
Apologizing For Actions Of Other People
Another sign is when we are apologizing for other people’s actions. In essence we’re shifting the responsibilities of someone else onto us.
While this is another sign of low confidence, this trait is actually something that we pick up in our childhood. This is especially the case in women who are raised more to be responsible and considerate of others. This involves apologizing even if they’re not at fault. Those early childhood habits lead to one apologizing for errors that someone else did.
Saying Sorry When You Are Asking Someone For Something
Asking for favours from friends and family is cool or when you’re giving instructions or assignments to co-workers. But don’t make a point of starting off or ending with “I’m sorry.”
The reason we feel the urge to do that is mostly out of fear of taking up someone time or that we are being a pest. This feeling didn’t come out of the blue though. Growing up, we learn to read rooms and read people and the messages that our presence is unwanted and the lessons that come with that can get internalized and stick with us for a long time.
Instead, make a habit of saying “thank you.” Or if you think someone is really pressed for time start with “can you” or “could you?”
Apologizing For Typical Situations
Sneezing in a quiet office. Squeezing past someone who’s sitting down or is in the way. These are typical every day actions that people will generally come to terms with and are cool with. It’s one thing to expect this behaviour and another to say “I’m sorry.”
Instead of saying that, take some time to rephrase what you are communicating. Use lines like “bless me” or “excuse me” in those situations.