All You Need To Know About Couple Therapy
Is your relationship going downhill? Do you and your spouse get into serious arguments over trivial matters? If yes, then you may be in need of a couple therapy. Now don’t freak out and say your relationship isn’t that troubled. Seeking the help of a couple therapist is no taboo. And the best part is that they may resolve all or any of the complaints that you have with your spouse and get you two to again fall crazily in love with each other.
But, before you start contemplating whether couple therapy is the answer to your messed up personal life or not, it is best you get to know what it is all about. We are sure you thought every visit to the therapist would involve a lot of many altercations, deeply buried secrets coming to light, and many such uncomfortable topics being discussed. However, all of this isn’t true. It’s not how you see in HBO dramas.
The very first session of the therapy would be an introductory one where you may be asked about the problems you are facing as a couple. Through this session, the therapist doesn’t just get to know you, but also observes how you both communicate with each other, how coordinated you both are, and any tension or conflicts arising due to any particular subject. They also try and get out of you what problems each one of things is wrecking your married life.
To be true, the therapist isn’t simply assessing the couple sitting across them. What they actually do is try and figure out the relationship you two share, which is an entity different from the two people who are present there. It is this third entity, which they attempt to work upon, and treat.
Do not be under the notion that the therapist would be acting like a referee pointing out who was wrong and who was right at any given situation. They are never going to take sides with one of the partners and assist the other one in changing the former. What they do is make the couples perform things that are needed to make the relationship strong and steady.
Though the therapist’s focus is on the relationship, it is common for each partner to wish to speak to the therapist without the presence of the other. It is quite often that therapists do the two sessions post the introductory one on an individual basis, i.e. only one member of the couple at a time. This enables you to open up better to your therapist. For the fourth session, both members of the couple are invited and are communicated the goals that are to be achieved through the therapy. These goals most commonly encompass
- Sex (might include infidelity)
- In-laws or extended family
Any couple walking into a couple therapist’s office goes there with one or more of these issues. It is these problems that are worked upon and tried to be amended. There are also some concerns present in the relationship which the couple doesn’t even realize but they don’t go unnoticed by the therapist.
Your therapist will provide a therapy to resolve any issue that you may be facing – be it communication, understanding, or intimacy. What you must keep in mind is that the therapist’s office isn’t a place where you can fight and accuse and allege one another. Instead, it is a place where you both will be taught how you can avert fights in your homes and understand your better half, better.
It doesn’t just end there. You’ll also be trained on how you could strengthen the connection between you two by having meaningful conversations, spending quality time together, and giving one another adequate space.
You should start to notice changes after a number of successful sessions with your therapist. Do you know what you exactly do when you decide to undergo such a therapy? You let your partner know that your relationship means a lot to you and that you are willing to take every effort to make it last forever.