10 Effective Ways To Deal With Your Anger

Anger is a completely natural emotion. From time to time we all get upset about events in our lives that we have little control over. We might get fed up with a lazy coworker, or get frustrated when a careless driver cuts us off. But while we all have the right to get angry, it is important to not let it get out of control. When something goes wrong, we cannot allow it to ruin our day. Fortunately, there are ways to manage our anger in healthy, productive ways. Here are 10 tips to help you achieve this.

1. Find solutions

There are times when it just isn’t worth getting angry, even if the situation frustrates you. For instance, if your kid keeps a messy room, you might not like it, but yelling at them isn’t always going to help either. So just shut their door so you don’t have to see their clothes and toys all over the floor. Out of sight, out of mind. Annoyed because your partner is constantly late for dinner? Either go ahead and start eating or schedule these meals later in the evening. Bonding over dinner is important, but their lack of punctuality isn’t worth ruining your night.

2. Forgive and forget

It’s not always easy to forgive others, especially if they have done something that really hurt. But you gain nothing by holding grudges and allowing your anger towards them to linger and even fester. By forgiving them, you both learn a lesson from the experience and are able to move on. Ideally, it will even strengthen your relationship.

3. Have a talk when your mood is calm

Are you frustrated because your kids or partner are doing things that bug you? Instead of shouting at them at the peak of your anger, why not sit down with them when your mind is calm and clear? You’ll be able to speak to them in a diplomatic, non-confrontational manner which in turn will make them more receptive.

4. Use humor

When you’re upset about something, it creates some real tension. This is when humor goes a long way towards alleviating this. Throwing in an expected joke and getting them to laugh will make it difficult for either of you to stay angry about a situation. Just be careful not to use biting sarcasm as that isn’t intended to produce a laugh; it is only meant to hurt them.

5. Be mindful about the words you use

When feeling angry, you might be prone to saying things in the heat of the moment that you will likely regret. When you are hurting, you might temporarily feel satisfied when you use language that causes pain to others, but it has the potential to result in permanent harm in your relationship with friends and family. So when you’re upset and have something you want to say, make sure to think carefully before expressing yourself.

6. Use passive language

Using statements that involve the “I” pronoun and speaking passively will allow you to express yourself without making them feel defensive. For instance, instead of saying, “You never help with the living room clean up” a phrase like, “I feel unhappy because I’m the only one tidying up the living room and could really use some help.” It’s a tactful way to assign blame without them feeling like they’re being talked down to.

7. Chose a relaxation technique

Whether it is deep breathing exercises, yoga, listening to soothing music, or writing poetry in a journal, we can all find a way to make ourselves feel more relaxed. The anger will melt away and we’ll feel great again!

8. Seek help from a professional

No matter how hard we try, there are times when we just can’t seem to deal with our anger management issues. This is when it becomes a good idea to speak with a therapist. Their job is not to judge you; they are there to help you find ways to overcome your anger using a developed, well-tested plan.

9. Go for a jog

Since anger causes a boost in energy, why not put it to good use? Take the opportunity to burn off that energy by going out for a run. Take in some fresh air, get some exercise, and return home feeling better! As a side note, don’t use this energy for aggressive purposes such as taking a few licks at a punching bag. Studies have shown that rather than releasing aggression, this can actually increase it.

10. Take a timeout

What do people typically do when a child acts up? They are put in a corner so that they have a chance to compose themselves without having to interact with others. As adults, why not do the same? Remove yourself from the situation and return only after you feel you can address the problem without that anger.