5 Tips For Preventing a Divorce (2 of 3)

2. Don’t make it worse

Keep this in mind: when your spouse has decided to break the news that they want to end the marriage, it’s not something they took lightly. They no doubt feel very emotional about it. They probably even feel guilty. After all, you’ve built up memories together over the years, and on your wedding day you both had assumed it would last forever. But the fact that he/she knows you’ll be hurt doesn’t give you the right to put salt in the wound. Playing the victim card isn’t going to make them change their mind. If anything, it will make them want to get out of the house (or give you the boot) as quickly as possible. Express that you want to give this one more chance, and ask him/her to take some time to reconsider.

3. Figure out what steps you can take to become a better person

In all likelihood, your spouse is making the decision to separate or divorce because there are certain things about you that he/she considers major shortcomings. You might not have even recognized these were major issues or were simply in denial about how bad things had become. Allow her to address her concerns and criticisms and take the necessary steps to improve yourself. This might mean seeking therapy or, if substance abuse is an issue, participating in a rehabilitation program. The fact that she sees you taking steps and getting help might persuade her to give you one more chance.