How to Reject Someone Without Hurting Them — 4 Useful Tips (2 of 3)

Give them an immediate answer

Hey, if you’re not into them you’re not into them. But that means you need to be straight up about this. For instance, if they ask you out via text or DM, you don’t want to ignore them and just hope your silence serves as “the hint.” Avoid “ghosting” as well. It is a really mean-spirited thing to do and might even backfire. After all, your goal is to reject them without hurting their feelings too much, right? By vanishing forever without addressing the issue, it will make the situation worse. Finally, there is no “good time” to reply except right away. The longer you wait, the more difficult you will make it for both of you when you do give them an answer. When you say “no” you need to be firm about it. You don’t need to be hostile about it, but you don’t want them to think they still have a chance. It’s going to hurt no matter what, but at least in the long run you’ll both be better off by making an immediate decision.

Be Straightforward

If you’re firm and absolute the first time, you won’t have to worry about them asking a second time. Time ends up being wasted for both of you if your response isn’t unambiguous. If you say things like, “I just got out of a long term relationship” or “I’m too busy to date anybody at the moment” you’re giving them a false sense of hope. They will simply wait for a few weeks to go by and then ask you out again, forcing you to come up with a whole new list of excuses.

Once you’ve rejected them, you need to move on. Sure, knowing that somebody likes you can make you feel pretty good about yourself, even if you don’t want to date them. But if you are completely certain that they’re not the right person for you, don’t re-initiate communication with them ever again. Don’t add them on social media. Delete them from your phone contacts. The last thing you want to do is drunk dial them one night, and then be left having to clean up the mess you created once you sober up and realize what you’ve done!