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How to Reject Someone Without Hurting Them — 4 Useful Tips

When someone tries to ask you out or hints that they’re into you, but the feeling isn’t mutual, it can really make life complicated. On one hand, you don’t want to come across as a jerk, but at the same time you should never feel compelled to date someone out of guilt. Although it can be difficult to reject them, there are ways to do it while remaining compassionate yet unambiguous.

Be considerate and tactful

Let them know that while you’re flattered, you aren’t interested. Smile and thank them. You can even tell them you respect the fact that they had the courage to ask, but that you aren’t interested in them in the same way. There’s no need to scoff at them or degrade them. They deserve some respect. After all, they’re allowing themselves the possibility of being rejected and embarrassed because you mean that much to them. If you feel the need to offer an explanation that soothes their ego, you can simply tell them you are focused on your life goals right now and aren’t looking for a relationship. Or you can say that you really like them as a person, but there isn’t that “spark.” It’s far better than a blunt, “You aren’t my type.”

Once you’ve let them down easy, make an exit. You might be tempted to find more ways to placate and comfort the individual rejecting you, but this is not a good idea. Standing there and continuing with a conversation will just make things awkward and will leave the other person feeling confused and even resentful.