I Need a Break: 8 Scenarios Where You Need to Pause Your Relationship

“I need a break from this relationship,” are words that nobody wants to hear. It could be a sign that things aren’t working out. However, it isn’t necessarily the case that you’re leaving your partner forever. Indeed, it is a mature, thoughtful approach to assessing the relationship. Rather than making an impulsive decision to dump your partner, you want to take some time to decide what the best path is going forward. Here are 10 reasons why it might be a good idea to take a much-needed break from your Significant Other.

#1 Promising to fix things turns out to just be a bunch of words

Do you or your partner ever find yourself apologizing and promising to work on a problem, and then nobody follows through and nothing changes? Relationships should never be taken for granted. They require hard work and the willingness to improve. But if he/she ignores your concerns, things are not going to end well. Time apart might actually spur positive action.

#2 You’re unsure about your feelings for your partner

One day you wake up, look over at your partner, and aren’t sure if you love them the way you did when the relationship began. When you come home after a long, stressful day of work, seeing your partner no longer brings any relief or joy. With all the things going on in your work and personal lives, loving them is no longer as easy as it once was. If this happens, there is nothing wrong with pressing the pause button and deciding whether that spark is gone forever.

#3 School and/or work is killing you

Between presentations, projects, you’re struggling in class. You are overwhelmed with all of your work responsibilities. In the meantime, you no longer enjoy your partner’s company because it’s just another added stress. Parting ways for a while allows you to concentrate on your short-time life goals such as passing the class or finding your groove at your new job.

Breaking things off for a while doesn’t have to be scary. It also doesn’t mean the relationship is over. Giving yourselves a chance to make improvements in your lives and even remembering what it feels like to miss each other might be key to saving it!

#4 There’s someone else

This might mean cheating, but not necessarily. If you come across a friend or co-worker who gives you butterflies and you feel like you’re falling for them, that’s problematic even if nothing has happened. Rather than ignoring or denying these feelings, taking time apart will allow you to clear your mind and heart. We aren’t suggesting that you test this out by sleeping with this new crush, but at the very least you’ll have a chance to contemplate your feelings without being deceitful or feeling super guilty about it.

#5 You’ve lost touch with who you are

Sometimes relationships change who we are. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It’s possible that you’ve become a more tidy person because your partner expects a clean home. On the other hand, perhaps there are certain bad habits you’ve acquired and now you feel like you’ve changed for the worse. Taking time away to reflect on who you are is healthy and might even make the relationship stronger if you decide to continue it.

There is nothing wrong with an occasional disagreement. In fact, no relationship is ever perfect, especially since it involves two complex individuals with their own distinct personalities, wants, and needs. But if you are finding yourself yelling at each other constantly, crying all the time, and never finding a resolution to the conflict — especially when it involves something petty — it’s time to take a breather.

#6 You’re having trust issues

Just because you’ve been an item for a while — and even living together — it doesn’t mean the trust issues go away. It could be that you’ve been cheated on (either by your current partner or somebody in a past relationship) or there are other reasons why you just feel like you can’t trust your partner. By taking to be apart, you can concentrate on yourself rather than feeling compelled to keep a constant eye on him/her.

#7 You spend way too much time together

He/she is the first thing you see in the morning. If you go to the movies, it’s exclusively with him/her. Same thing when you go shopping, dining out, or even studying for an exam in a class you’re both taking. If you can’t recall the last time you spent a day or night by yourself, it is definitely time for a break. Your partner might genuinely be your best friend, but if you never take time to hang out with other people or even take a mini vacation by yourself, you will eventually build up resentment.

#8 You argue all the time

There is nothing wrong with an occasional disagreement. In fact, no relationship is ever perfect, especially since it involves two complex individuals with their own distinct personalities, wants, and needs. But if you are finding yourself yelling at each other constantly, crying all the time, and never finding a resolution to the conflict — especially when it involves something petty — it’s time to take a breather.