Expert-Approved Tips That Will Help You Get Past Your Ex and Embrace Your New Life (2 of 2)

Write your ex a letter, but do not send it

If you didn’t see it coming, your head must be bursting with things to say to your ex. Lots of questions to ask, finding out what went wrong, how much you’ll still love them, and the list is endless. So, why not just write it all down? We don’t want you to contact them again. But you have to get it out of your mind.

Monet suggests that you be totally open in this letter. You should feel free to include the most trivial of things that bothered you. Anytime you thought they treated you unfairly or weren’t contributing enough to make it work. You can mention the positives too. What the relationship taught you and your favorite moments together. Empty all the love, loathe, and emptiness that you are feeling right now.

As silly as it may sound, mere writing it down can be immensely relieving. Once done, you’d hardly have any urge to actually send it. You would realize they won’t understand and, even if they would, it just doesn’t matter to you anymore.

Pour out all you feels in a diary

As we have already mentioned above, writing your issues down is therapeutic. It has nearly the same effect as talking to a close one. The added benefit here is that you can be unfiltered and there is no fear of being judged. Given that this is coming from an expert, Tatyana Dyachenko, you have no reason to doubt its effectiveness.

She regards journaling as the ideal technique to manage our emotions. It gives us clarity of thoughts and a deeper understanding of our feelings. As little as five minutes of partaking in this activity can bring about immense positivity in the way you approach the obstacles coming in your way.

If you have never been a pen and paper person, just grab your notepad and get typing. You can start with what all this relationship taught you. How well are you coping with it? What are you going to miss the most about them?

Set boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential to ensuring you don’t remain stuck with the same feeling.

Continuing to text them or looking for their say in your matters is not what you need anymore.

We aren’t asking you to turn foes, but you have to avoid them in order to be over them. Stanley believes that these boundaries act as a safety net and protect you from getting hurt again by the same person for the same reason.

He recommends that you delete their number or, at least, change the contact’s name, block their social media, avoid meeting with them, get rid of their pictures, etc. You mustn’t have anything in sight that reminds you of them.

Allow yourself to grieve

A common mistake that many make is wanting to skip the grieving phase. They think that somehow immersing themselves in work will ease their pain. Truth be told, it’s okay to feel sad.

In fact, it’s important to let yourself feel sad. You have to first accept your problem before you can deal with it. Mac Stanely, a licensed therapist, and Therapy Is For Everyone PLLC‘s owner says that grieving allows for processing and honoring emotions.

Your heart is shattered and it’s best to not hold all the pain inside you. It is only going to accumulate causing more damage. Just cry it out. Let all your anger and dejection out. You need this to be able to feel fresh and ready to start again.

This is all the help we had to make moving on easier for you. How well are you handling your breakup?