9 Obvious Signs That Show Your Partner Has Lost Respect For You
While whole lots of love, care, and fun dates are certainly good for your relationship, these are of no value if your relationship is devoid of respect. By knowing the obvious signs of disrespect, you can avoid the issue before it goes beyond everyone’s control.
Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a California-based psychologist admits that a relationship is based on two important pillars – trust and respect. And if even one of them is lacking, the relationship starts falling apart before you even realize it. When there is enough respect in a relationship, partners will value each other more and also feel secure being with each other. When the relationship lacks respect, partners will always be in a state of resentfulness and anger.
One can notice disrespect in a lot of different ways, but it generally results in the same thing.
Multiple studies have revealed that a relationship is bound to derail if there is a lack of any respect. And while it is certainly a good thing to break up with a disrespectful, uncaring, and disloyal person, rather than staying in the relationship, it is possible to conjure positive improvements over time.
As Manly points out, the behavior involving a lack of respect can be overcome with genuine effort. One can hone the skill of respecting by paying more attention and being mindful of what they say or how they behave. It means that the areas that require changes should be pointed out, and that can happen by attending couples therapy and allowing your partner a fair chance to improve and change.
It is all up to you if you want to break up with your partner or allow them to change, but if you notice the signs we’ve listed out below, it is time to realize that your relationship is in trouble.
They always lie to you
It isn’t a mere coincidence that lying to one’s partner is one of the biggest causes why people break up. As Manly explains, being dishonest with your partner is perhaps the most damaging thing to do in a relationship. It just conveys that you don’t care about your partner or the impact those lies will have on your life together and they just think about themselves.
In a relationship full of respect for each other, lying doesn’t have a place at all, and yet it is a thing a lot of people do. And the worst part is when people often rationalize their lies as an error of omission. Manly adds that no defense can protect dishonesty in a relationship, as it shows how disrespectful you are towards your partner and relationship.
They constantly ignore boundaries you set
Any healthy relationship ought to have some boundaries, and partners should respect each other’s. However, if a partner constantly ignores the boundaries you set, he or she is undermining you and it shows nothing, but a lack of respect for you.
Further, this often gets from bad to worse. Your partner might never return the money they borrowed, or trample over your personal space, or try unwanted advances. Manly points out that you shouldn’t be tolerating any of it.
They often give the silent treatment
We all need some sort of a breather when we feel upset; you should pay close attention if your significant other always takes the route giving you silent treatment every time there are relationship issues. Think of things like sending all calls to the voicemail, or sulking in some remote corner of the house far away from you.
The silent treatment is effective, because it always creates tension and anxiety, as to what they’re going to do next, and you feel bad about what wrong you did or how bad it was, points out Dr. Fran Walfish, author and psychotherapist. Further, this also stops you from discussing your point of view, which leaves you anxious.
In fact, there is a name for this technique – stonewalling – and based on research by Dr. John Gottman, it signifies that your relationship is nearing the end.