Often-Used Words That May Be Ruining Your Relationship, According To Experts (2 of 2)

“But”

If your partner decides to share how they are feeling, responding with words like “yes, but..” can be damaging, points out Lynell Ross, who happens to be a relationship expert and director of Test Prep Insight. Using “but” in arguments or when your partner is sharing their feelings, you are just negating everything they have just said, which makes them feel like you are not even trying to understand their point, or worse, were not even listening to what they were saying.

“Need”

Expressing yourself in a relationship is very important, but using words like “need” can be damaging in certain scenarios because it is usually attached to things that are not really necessities, but wants, adds Michelle Pargman. Further, words like “need” will also get you in a futile argument with your loved one. This is so because when you use words like “need”, you are practically holding what comes immediately after that as some sort of oxygen, which it is not, adds Pargman.

“You”

Irrespective of how many times you exchange the “I love you” in your relationship, the word “you” can still be damaging to your relationship. When you want to express your feelings to your partner, using “you” in certain situations is best avoided. For instance, saying things like “you procrastinate a lot” or “you always make me mad” tells your partner that you put all the blame on them. Further, it makes your partner feel judged by you, so it is better to avoid “you” in these situations.

Those are all the minor changes you have to make in the way you communicate with your spouse. Although you may not realize any difference immediately, over time, you will notice how they improve your bond with your partner.