He who shall not be named
Meeting the man who nobody knows about is an interesting idea for a Hollywood movie, not for a resume item!
Multiple conceits
If you really make up your mind to use a clown metaphor in the resume, you should stick to it instead of switching to a potato metaphor in the next paragraph! Also, just to be clear, we are not really encouraging you to use the clown metaphor in the first place.
Incomplete resume
If you are really going to send a draft resume that says “place your content here” for a job, you can very well not apply in the first place!
Hire ME!
The purpose of a resume is to let the recruiter know that you are available for recruitment, writing HIRE ME ten times below the resume doesn’t really add information!
Bizarre Bragging
While ‘emitting pleasant aromas’ might be a great skill according to you, recruiters won’t consider it that way. Also, nobody would really appreciate the optional ‘horse-like laugh’ you mentioned in your resume!
