30 Funny Things You Wouldn’t Believe Actually Found Its Way In People’s Resumes
A job search can be a painful task. Out of every 250 odd applicants who apply for a corporate job, only five actually get shortlisted for the interview process! So, in order to make it to the interviews and be in the top two percent, it becomes extremely crucial to draft your cover letter and resume perfectly. However, some people hardly make it past the starting line. While some are clueless about the entire hiring process, some are simply fed up with it, while the rest are in a mood to have some fun! The one thing they have in common is the fact that all of them definitely didn’t end up in that top two percent. Instead, they ended up giving their would-be employers hilarious introductions through their resumes and cover letters.
Dive deeper to find more about these hilarious things that found their ways in the resumes. Here we go –
Always remember this: checking the spelling and grammar isn’t the only thing you should do before hitting the send button for your resume – make sure all Nicholas Cage pics have been removed, too!
Too much information
Look, we get it that you can play a horrific criminal on-screen with ease. There’s no need to include that information in your resume! It’s better if you keep it to yourself.
Not enough information
While too much information is bad, simply writing “I have a bachelor’s degree, give me a job” won’t make the cut, unfortunately! Simple isn’t better, in this case.
A custom template
It is important that your resume stands out as unique and original, but not because of the My Little Pony-theme you used as a template for your resume!
If you actually believe that terrible font and even worse formatting is the real issue here, you need to check out Cinnamon’s bizarre hobby of “ferret husbandry”! Yep, that’s how we reacted when we noticed it.
A detailed personal narrative
A story about a guy you knew who owned the drug mafia might grab a movie director’s attention, but not that of a recruiter. Even if it does, we can assure you he won’t hire you!
A detailed account of being a terrible employee
Look we get it – most people don’t love their jobs. But this guy took this to the very next level when he listed that he ‘got rid of annoying customers’ as a customer service advisor, under the achievements column!
Issuing personal threats to the recruiter
When recruitment experts suggest applicants to include a ‘killer line’, they definitely don’t mean that you should issue personal threats to the recruiter!
Most recruiters are looking for an out of box thinker. This legend, Mr. Jones, took it to the very next level when he attached a five-pound note with a message “wink wink” alongside it! If it wasn’t enough, he even used eBay feedback as a reference!
Again, a resume that catches the recruiter’s attention is crucial, but not with hyperbole like ‘I run with the bulls and I charm crocodiles’!
Not so good attention to detail
If you are mentioning that you have good attention to detail, then mean it. This poor chap, obviously proved he didn’t have good attention to detail after he wrote the same qualities twice – one above and one beneath the quality ‘good attention to detail’! Yup, beat that!
While being clear about which specific dance sequence you’re mentioning in your list of skills is a good thing, we are not quite sure the entire dancing thing is a useful information for the recruiter in the first place.
We understand that you wanted to keep adding every possible activity that you have taken part in, but we hate to break it to you that ‘type 1 diabetes’ is actually an illness that lasts lifelong, not an extracurricular activity!
We all have more than once slammed the keyboard keys in anger – especially while writing a resume. However, the trick is not sending the version that says ‘adkgksls’ under the skills column!
Caught you red-handed!
We all are desperate to get a job, but confronting HR manager with the proof of death of his colleague and possible vacancy won’t make the cut, unfortunately!
He who shall not be named
Meeting the man who nobody knows about is an interesting idea for a Hollywood movie, not for a resume item!
If you really make up your mind to use a clown metaphor in the resume, you should stick to it instead of switching to a potato metaphor in the next paragraph! Also, just to be clear, we are not really encouraging you to use the clown metaphor in the first place.
If you are really going to send a draft resume that says “place your content here” for a job, you can very well not apply in the first place!
The purpose of a resume is to let the recruiter know that you are available for recruitment, writing HIRE ME ten times below the resume doesn’t really add information!
While ‘emitting pleasant aromas’ might be a great skill according to you, recruiters won’t consider it that way. Also, nobody would really appreciate the optional ‘horse-like laugh’ you mentioned in your resume!
Always technically correct
While it may be technically correct, writing literal answers to questions such as ‘experience’ won’t really get a pat on the back from the recruiter!
This person would probably hold the record for earning a harassment complaint even before being hired!
When recruiters ask you to fill out every part of the resume, it is okay to miss out on some. Listing your drug-dealing exploits and jail sentences don’t exactly count as a job experience!
Everything in this resume was bang on until the references ‘burned in a fire’. Too bad!
If ‘heaps of medals’ didn’t give a clue about what this person loves the most, then misspelling references as ‘referees’ should have done it for you!
It is really good to know as a recruiter that rejecting a candidate won’t hurt him, thanks to his supreme confidence in himself. It takes a hell lot of courage or alcohol – or both, to write a list of things that you are ‘best in the world’ at!
The actual truth
By admitting to the fact that he is bad at answering trick questions, this person just said the truth out and loud!
Accepting the fact that you are not qualified for the job right from the start is the best natural response that comes from a human being after months of job search!
If you really thought that going to a school without a break is a possible job experience, you need to think again. Also, ‘looking good’ isn’t exactly a skill most recruiters are looking for in office jobs!
We’re not sure what this person was trying to actually care about – his would-be colleagues or simply threatening the recruiter indirectly! In any case, having a stockpile of guns and knives isn’t exactly going to land you a job!