Entertainment, Travel
(Edited: )

The Horrific New Trend: Hipster Water (3 of 3)

 

11. Balance water for women.

Balance Water, Water, Liquid, Bottle, Drinkware, Water bottle, Fluid

“Honey, I’m so sorry. I just drank the women only water.”

“You did whaaaat? Quick, get to a hospital, pronto. You need your stomach pumped!”

“Huh?” Huh indeed. In what universe did men and water need different water? What can this possibly contain that means women should buy it over men, other than a big ol’ heap of BS?

 

There are also other variants, for Mind, Relaxing, and Travel. A hundred bucks says they’re all identical.

 

 

12. Almond water

Almond Water, Bottle, Liquid, Drinkware, Fluid, Glass bottle

Well, almond milk is a thing, and it’s quite pleasant, so this is the next step it seems. Only, isn’t the whole point of almond water that it’s an alternative to cow’s milk? What is this, an alternative to sensible water? Jeez. Victoria can keep it.

 

 

3. Boxed water.

Boxed Water, Rectangle

But… isn’t half the point of buying bottled water that you can use the bottle afterwards? This is just weird. Maybe more environmentally friendly. But if people are buying water in amounts of 500ml at a time, they’re probably not thinking all that much about the environment, and more about how thirsty they are, right? Boxed water really isn’t better.

 

 

14. Glace rare iceberg water

Glace Iceberg Water, Liquid, Water, Azure, Blue, Fluid

Something to remind you of the titanic. But come to think of it, their problem was a little too much water. At least icebergs make you think of the arctic, freshness, coolness, nice watery things. So the marketing department have done a decent job here. Only, it’s all based on nonsense and will most definitely come from exactly the same place as all the other waters listed here.

 

“But it’s all in French, so it must be nice!”

Nope.

 

 

15. Wat… wot the…

Wat Aah, Bottle, Liquid, Fluid

What is this, Boston Water? Or is it South African? Who even knows, or cares? Is it supposed to appeal to people who talk like this? What’s next, New York water? “Locally sourced to reduce air miles”, or something. Maybe it is specifically designed to appeal to Bostonites. Maybe they have particularly good steams, or rivers, or lagoons, or waterfalls. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s ridiculous and needs to stop. Bones, body, no brain. Stop. Seriously, stop it, now, please.